That said, fuck boys. No. REALLY. Fuck boys. Am I bitter, you ask? Well, HELL yes, I'm bitter. The reason goes a little somethin' like this.

Last nite, Adam's screen name signs on. The convo goes as follows. (with a few side notes from me)

Me: Oh, hey.
LifeHasNoValue: Hey. This isn't Adam.
LifeHasNoValue: This is Debra.

This is Debra!?! Fuckin' DEBRA??

Me: Oh. Are you his girl?
LifeHasNoValue: Yeah. AS OF A FEW DAYS AGO.

Oh, really now!?

LifeHasNoValue: Who are you?

Who am *I*? Oh, funny you should ask. Let me fuckin' TELL you who I am. I'm the girl who just LAST month was Immed by a boy in a chat room. A boy with black hair and green eyes.. from MA, but moving to San Diego. I'm the girl who spent every FUCKIN' nite for a month talking to this boy. I'm the girl who, like this boy, is left handed, half Jewish and half Italian, Indie rock like woah. I'm the girl who sent him messages. He's the boy who sent me stars. I'm the girl who colored him Spongebob and bought him pirate swords at Disneyland. I'm the fuckin' GODXOFXDESTRUCTION. Do you know he's the GODXOFXDOOM?

Do you know that I waited for over a fuckin' WEEK.. telling myself 'He'll call. He would never just NOT call.' Do you know we were s'posed to go see Counting Crows together in 2 weeks? Or that he was gonna' come to Thanksgiving? We were gonna' rule San Diego. Did you know that? NO. Of course, you didn't. I hope you find out the hard way.

So, who AM I, you ask. I'm the girl he led on, and lied to, and flat out fuckin' forgot.

So, Debra, I wish you the best of fuckin' luck. Really, I do. Boys like that are one and the fuckin' same.

As for me, I finally found my closure. I deleted all 52 of Adam's pictures off my computer, and I took his name off my buddy list. Maybe one day, weeks or months from now, he'll IM me outta' the blue.. as if nothing ever happened. Only, I will have nothing to say to him.

Nothing, that is, except for this:

Go to hell, you fuckin' lying bastard. No. REALLY. Go.

-*-*-*-
Currently reading: The Last Summer
Listening to: Bright Eyes: Lover I don't Have to Love
Thinking of: bed time
-*-*-*-

05 Dec 02
2316 hours


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and 2 years later... - 11 January 2005
Chance Encounters - 05 April 2003
A month in the life - 07 March 2003
Skool - 28 January 2003
Worst 3 hours - 19 January 2003

"I have no doubt
that it is part of the destiny of the human race
in its gradual improvement
to leave off eating animals.."
-HD Thoreau