were written by
A girl
So, I was looking thru a bunch of my old notebooks, and I found this. I wrote it about Levi. I'm not sure I ever posted it in any of my journals, so here goes.. Seeing you again on Friday nite brought it all back. I think I was doing okay being away from you. (I'm learning to live without you now. But I miss you sometimes) I still thought about you everyday. I still missed hearing you sing. But you were here, and I was there.. and the distace was helping me to forget. I got home on Friday. I thought about how close I was to you... and how I couldn't just get in the car and drive and knock on your door. I spent the day laying around, listening to music, trying not to think of you. Failing miserably. I thought about everything I had to tell you, and then I wondered if you wanted to hear it. I turned your picture upside down. 5 minutes later, I reached out and fixed it. I finally stopped kidding myself that I could escape you. I fell asleep. At around 2300, I walked into the bar. I heard you singing before I even got out of the car. Your voice always takes my breath away. The bar was packed but I saw you before anyone else. You became the only one in the room. God, you looked good. You smiled when you saw me, and I silently thanked God for that. All in one fleeting moment, I remembered the time I had spent with you. Every waking minute, as well as every minute spent asleep. I remembered the first nite I met you. Every time I looked at you, you were looking back at me. Attraction was never that instant. I remembered the way you looked at me for what seemed like an eternity before you kissed me for the first time. I remembered teasing you 'cuz you tasted like Sam Adams. I remembered the first nite I fell asleep next to you. We were both freshly showered. You gave me your shirt to wear. I remembered waking up next to you in the late morning.. and how neither of us wanted to leave. The first time you brought me to your house, and we fell asleep on the couch watching videos of you singing. I told you that you were gonna' be famous. You told me I was beautiful. I remembered sitting next to you and listening to you tell me the story of when you were sick. I looked at the pictures and cried. You were already in tears. We sat there in silence for a long time... our tears seemed to flow together, and I thanked god for the chance to cry with you.. to cry FOR you. You told me it was your death day.. the 7 year anniversary of your miracle life. I touched the scars on your arms, your legs.. and then I kissed them. I was amazed by you. I still am. The next nite I listened to you sing Heaven Can Wait (Meatloaf rocks). I hugged you, in tears again, and I told you that song never sounded more beautiful. I remembered waking up with you, and spending the afternoon painting your nitestands. I laughed when you got the paint in your mouth. You laughed even harder after you kissed me. This time you tasted like paint. I remembered driving in your car. (purplePTCruisersrock) I laid my head on your lap and stared at the sky thru the open sunroof. We named the stars. Maybe it was then that I fell in love with you. I wonder if you knew how hard it was for me to watch you drive away. I drank too many shots of tequila. You did too. I think we were trying to drown out the inevitable. We drove to Denny's. I think we sat in silence for about 46 hours before we talked. Me: I miss you.
I hugged you. I finally told you "I love you." It took me 3 DAYS to feel - so much longer to say. You said it too. And then you were driving away. The sun was just starting to rise, and I stood there in the parking lot watching you drive.. until long after I couldn't see your car anymore. And then I went home. And when I hugged you last nite, I wanted to tell you something, everything, anything.. b/c I needed to hear you tell me again. But I didn't feel like struggling with my words.. so I settled for the feel of your breath against my neck. And I listened to you sing. And I loved you in silence And so it goes. Listening to: The Used - On My Own Recently downloaded: AFI - Days of the Phoenix Thinking of: bed, bed, bed -*-*-*- 13 Jan 03 that it is part of the destiny of the human race in its gradual improvement to leave off eating animals.." -HD Thoreau 
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